Open, Soften, Allow

Something has bothered you and the thought will not stop turning. The body is tight, the shoulders drawn in, the world narrowed to the size of the problem. On another day you are out walking and everything is roomy and unhurried. The difference is the grip.

Clinging, craving, aversion, grasping — different words for one movement: taking hold of experience and trying to keep it fixed. It is felt in the body. Which is useful, because what is felt in the body can be released there.

Settle, then let awareness fill the whole body, part by part, until the whole space is bright. Tune into the felt sense of it — the overall tone, like dialling in an analogue radio. Notice the clear sensations, and what is vague and murky. Whatever you find is fine.

Now look for the holding. A contraction somewhere. A pull for this to be other than it is. It is in thought too — the mind solving, fixing, reaching towards something later. Find it. Stay with it a moment.

Open, soften, allow.

Take resistance the same way: soften around the sleepiness, the agitation, the doubt. Let it be here. Take the pleasant that way too. Released from the grip, what is pleasant tends to open further; what is unpleasant tends to dissipate.

Then feel the whole body again. Tight, or roomy. Solid, or moving.

You do not let go. You stop holding on.

Drawn from Rob Burbea’s teaching on ways of looking.

Equanimity – Open, Soften, Allow (Guided Meditation)

Equanimity is being with experience without the push and pull of craving and aversion, without trying to change how things are. To practice equanimity you can shift into a mode of receptive awareness, tuning in to what is present and cultivating a relationship of being with. The phrase “open, soften, allow” can be particularly helpful here as a way to encourage a gentle welcoming of all experiences. Here there is an emphasis on whole body awareness as a way to attune to the present moment that is embodied and direct.

This practice is from the Tending the Fire Retreat in September 2025.